3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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