Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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