Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize