i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
