My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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