My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
