If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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