We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
