I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Someone signed my nipple.
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