I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
