Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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