How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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