the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
