Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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