I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
