i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
