Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize