Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Operation Purity has been aborted
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
