Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
