It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
