I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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