very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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