You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
