Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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