Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
