We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
