The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
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It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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