we have pet lesbian snakes
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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