Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i dont even know how to be here
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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