We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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