Who did Billy Mays play for?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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