Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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