I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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