Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize