Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
