He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
