This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
