I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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