so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
