my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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