i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
