do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
