Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
