i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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