Nicole vs. Life
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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