There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
