i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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