You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
