Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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