i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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