yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.