It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
