Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout