Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  if i can run in heels then i can drive

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  (303): if i can run in heels then i can drive http://tfl.nu/rtwg
  Replies (11) Good night (1341) Bad night (521)
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  (209): View more from California

  i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me

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  (209): i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me http://tfl.nu/5qvn
  Replies (24) Good night (3103) Bad night (873)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work

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  (443): no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work http://tfl.nu/0acv
  Replies (9) Good night (625) Bad night (3749)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Really.

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  (918): I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you (580): Really. http://tfl.nu/kw5b
  Replies (101) Good night (10456) Bad night (3080)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma

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  (402): Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma http://tfl.nu/lc92
  Replies (24) Good night (9406) Bad night (1611)
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  (585): View more from New York

  just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.

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  (585): just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse. http://tfl.nu/g20v
  Replies (5) Good night (4014) Bad night (966)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.

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  (570): Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city. http://tfl.nu/2blw
  Replies (10) Good night (3860) Bad night (1284)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.

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  (954): He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up. http://tfl.nu/a8fn
  Replies (13) Good night (4666) Bad night (971)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found

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  (405): I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found http://tfl.nu/l324
  Replies (7) Good night (2830) Bad night (1334)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord

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  (907): his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord http://tfl.nu/yjwk
  Replies (6) Good night (1339) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.

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  (306): whoa! who said he's my boyfriend? (1-306): Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina. http://tfl.nu/k1yy
  Replies (7) Good night (2916) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.

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  (425): Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage. http://tfl.nu/p8gy
  Replies (13) Good night (518) Bad night (2105)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.

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  (206): I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it. http://tfl.nu/xy4s
  Replies (4) Good night (1267) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower

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  (416): No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower http://tfl.nu/t3qe
  Replies (0) Good night (599) Bad night (276)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?

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  (713): I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz? http://tfl.nu/17pr
  Replies (2) Good night (205) Bad night (364)

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