I want to make a zoo with you.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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