Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I don't get it.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Me neither.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  But I masturbated to it anyway.

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  (870): I don't get it. (501): Me neither. (501): But I masturbated to it anyway. http://tfl.nu/tklr
  Replies (23) Good night (2317) Bad night (861)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

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  (561): i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls http://tfl.nu/2rar
  Replies (20) Good night (3519) Bad night (910)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You guys are open that late?

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  (703): Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges." (610): You guys are open that late? http://tfl.nu/gb5t
  Replies (17) Good night (1086) Bad night (4010)
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  (+44): View more from England

  Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying

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  (+44): Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying http://tfl.nu/14fx
  Replies (62) Good night (6738) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

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  (319): you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met (1-319): thanks it was an honor just to be nominated http://tfl.nu/yswc
  Replies (37) Good night (11111) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.

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  (832): just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno. http://tfl.nu/xrvd
  Replies (28) Good night (5869) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.

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  (303): My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible. http://tfl.nu/r17h
  Replies (12) Good night (5573) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly

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  (678): I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly http://tfl.nu/mkzb
  Replies (6) Good night (3205) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.

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  (860): Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it. http://tfl.nu/t1oh
  Replies (15) Good night (2496) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me

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  (660): Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me http://tfl.nu/ir9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (2146)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?

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  (778): We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in? http://tfl.nu/nu3d
  Replies (11) Good night (1258) Bad night (3081)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...

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  (303): Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"... http://tfl.nu/l31e
  Replies (7) Good night (1562) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.

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  (508): Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess. http://tfl.nu/kvya
  Replies (7) Good night (1871) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.

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  (702): Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself. http://tfl.nu/5shw
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life

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  (615): hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life http://tfl.nu/rfd4
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (260)

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