He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
