I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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