I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
