I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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