the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
not ubering you a puppy
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
