needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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