Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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