I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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